Happy Halloween, Guys

"Every time I listen to it, I hear something different" - Stuart Firmingham, on Gangnam Style



Note: After watching this, I might be officially sick of the song. Sick of it.

A series of haikus that are definitely about you

III.

If you were a dog,
you would be the kind that wags
but hates ear scratches.

Productive Things I could do during the hurricane

- Finish the purple scarf I've been knitting for the past 10 months
- Finally get around to doing those p90x dvds
- Deep condition my hair
- Write haikus about you
- Google hair color options. Red? Honey Blonde?
- Read all 3 iterations of 50 Shades of Grey
- Sort, shred and recycle old paperwork
- Buy weird shit (christmas presents) off the internet
- Dominate Shelby in Song Pop, once and for all
- Artfully organize old photographs stacked in shoeboxes
- Purge embarrassing items from my facebook timeline
- Create nautical-themed spotify mixes
- Sign up for excessive half marathons/marathons/10ks
- Perfect my gangnam style (Watch it again. You're not sick of it yet.)
- Give Wallace a bath

It's not too late for me to quit my job and become a booty house dj

 Make that booty clap.

Diary #14

Lola. Age 14. An undated entry in green marker. Based on previous and following entries, written sometime in May 1996.

No
seafood
pork
lamb
beef
(red meat)
steak
deer

Yes
chicken
turkey


Hmm. I became a full-fledged vegetarian in 2000, but clearly this thing has been brewing for a long time. It's possible that I simply dislike meat items. As for the list: the "No" column is redundant, but I like that my hatred of seafood is clear. Those creepy gill-havers are first to go. However, deer appears to be an afterthought.

Want

tonight!!

Note:

Eating toast with blackberry jam in bed = lovely.

Dropping toast in bed = blackberry jam looks a lot like blood.

Not immediately realizing bloodstains are actually jam = frantically searching Wallace for a hemorrhage.

Time goes by, so slowly

Hearts and Stabs 10.18.12

Hearts
-  Cola flavored Powerbar energy chewies. Wow, it sounds gross when I type that out, but they're pretty badass.
- Biking. It's rather wonderful and exciting and I want to bike everywhere. I am still a bit of a disaster and lost a shoe in an intersection the other day, but it's okay. I'm new.
- Pitchfork Spotify mixes = the 90s mix is solid.
- Writing terrible, hilarious poetry that my friends claim to love, simply because they love me. And I love them extra more because of it. Looove.
- Spinach salads with all the fixins'
- Anything or anyone that ironically references R. Kelly

Stabs
- People who fall asleep ON ME in the subway. I am not a pillow. Get it together.
- Colds. Hate being sick and unable to smell/taste/breathe.
- Relevant: perhaps the subway sleepers are responsible for my cold?
- Sherman Street = A Courageous Battle against the Millipedes.
- Money. I wish my student loan companies accepted other forms of payment, like cookies and/or beer.
- Binders full of women. Sigh. It was such an odd and disturbing response to pay inequality. It made me think Mittens doesn't even understand the issue. Of course there's a ton of highly qualified women that can (and do) hold executive positions. And they're paid significantly less than men who hold similar positions. It's bullshit. It's about money, not the talent pool. Ugggh.

Books I've read recently

Posting this mainly because I always forget and stare at people blankly when they ask what I've been reading. So here it is.* Enjoyed all of them, don't make me choose a favorite.

Downtown Owl - Chuck Klosterman
This Is How You Lose Her - Junot Diaz
A Farewell to Arms - Ernest Hemingway
The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky
How to Be A Woman - Caitlin Moran
Stories I Only Tell My Friends - Rob Lowe
Under the Banner of Heaven - John Krakauer
The Power of Habit - Charles Duhigg
Freedom - Jonathan Franzen
The Visible Man - Chuck Klosterman
Growing Up Amish - Ira Wagler

*Updated.

This is for the Gz, and this is for the Hustlas

This is for the hustlas now back to the gz

Diary #13

Lola. Age 8.

June 28, 1990

My life is ruined because


That's it. I literally stopped writing after "because." Ridiculous.

Music I'm currently obsessed with

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis - Thrift Shop




Alt+J - Tessellate



Tame Impala - Apocalypse Dreams

A series of haikus that are definitely about you.

II.

You are not aware
but we are the gunfighters
at O.K. corral.

Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks

A series of haikus that are definitely about you.

I.

In place of your heart
there is a worm with glasses
reading Hemingway.

The Warriors

Diary #12

Lola. Age 11. Excerpt from a very long entry.

April 27, 1993

Name Redacted (male) and Name Redacted (female) have been getting on my nerves. They say my writing is too big and I leave too big spaces between my words. At least I have spaces between them. At least my writing is readable. Name Redacted (male)'s writing is so messy. Also they think they are so cool just because they go to GT. What I think GT stands for is giant toddlers. Really it's gifted and talented.


Awww. Did you see how I tried to get a zinger in there about GT? Kind of adorable. Really like that I clarified myself after attempting the zinger. I still do that.

I should note here that Name Redacted (male) and I had a longstanding unspoken academic competition that continued throughout elementary and middle school. We were constantly trying to one-up each other grade-wise. In retrospect, I suppose that's the reason teachers always sat us next to each other. Anyway, he is an engineer now. And I do math for a living. (At least I'm pretty sure that's what my job is about.)

!!

The Supremes - Remove this Doubt

My Diana Ross kick continues. Looooove.

Random thoughts over coffee on a day I don't have to work

- Just ran the Staten Island Half Marathon yesterday at a ridiculous finish time of 1:55:26. (8:49 minute mile pace.) For reference, in 2010 I finished my very first half marathon 41 minutes slower. Very difficult to wrap my head around that. Bottom line: I'm kind of a beast and I feel ready for the marathon.

- Been watching an (unintentionally) hilarious show about witches on netflix. It is the perfect level of amusement/background noise to watch while I conduct household activities. Also, every time someone says "The circle is bound!" I take a drink. (Coffee at the moment.) It's phenomenal.

- When is the appropriate time to carve pumpkins? Is it time yet? It should be.

- Can't remember if I took claritin last night, but I sure did take one this morning. Someone call later to make sure I'm not dead.

- Had insane dreams last night. Since I went to bed at 9pm, statistically that was bound to happen. 10 hours is plenty of time for that nonsense.

- Diana Ross.

It's worth reposting and repeating, because it's simply that wonderful.

It's decorative gourd season, motherfuckers.

Tell me the truth boy

Solange - Losing You

 Love! Big fan of this track. Great production, and I love love love the timing of the handclaps. Handclaps are an art. There's a great dissection here; however, I'm not as jazzed about the video as the reviewer.

This is the Rhythm of the Night