Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Monday, September 19, 2016

Things to do when feeling a lil blue

- tiny shoulder wiggle dance
- acquire bars of fancy chocolate and hide them in fridge in anticipation of future discovery and delight
- contemplate puppies who haven't quite mastered their giant, fuzzy, paws
- ask a magic 8 ball serious work questions and follow its advice
- look at gifs of cookie monster looking at cookies
- brainstorm a list of the most offensive, ludicrous things one could be for halloween
- practice single eyebrow raises
- draw a picture of a pig in a business suit
- make a ranked list of pastries, from delicious to detestable
- run full speed into (or away from?) whatever it is you are afraid of

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Notes I leave my roommate (a series):

Inanimate objects that I've recently felt some type of way about

- Stabby electric cord
- An email sent to me at 4:44am
- Color printer that groaned wildly with an accompanying click clack
- Ajar kitchen cabinet
- Shopping baskets at Target and Key Foods (somehow always missing or filled with discards)
- Left shoe
- Right shoe
- Document highlighted aggressively in blue
- Slippery leaf on ground
- Faulty coffee lid
- Circular references in hidden cells
- Crew socks with weak elasticity that slipped inside my shoes while walking
- Your face

silly me i thought you love was true, change my name to silly e badu

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Time spent in kitchens

As a child, I spent hours in the kitchen creating what I termed "concoctions." It was half-cooking / half-baking of feats of ridiculousness. (i.e. A single, giant, peanut butter cookie the size of a baking sheet,  Special K cereal with a chocolate syrup, marshmallow, powdered sugar coating, Microwave popcorn assaulted with every available spice from the cabinet, Horrifying dipping sauces for carrot sticks, etc et al)

As an adult, I spend hours in the kitchen "concept-baking." (i.e. PB&J Muffins, Smore's Cookies, Pumpkin Pie Cookies, Coffee Banana Bread, Crumbly Cardamom Coffee Cake, Sugar Cookies with an offensively liberal amount of sprinkles, Strawberry Rhubarb night pie, Limoncello sugar dollups, and so forth)

Adulthood is apparently just a retooled childhood.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Weird Sunburns of Summers Past

- Back of arms, back of legs and back of back - Fort Erie Beach Cottage, Canada
- Left Arm, left shoulder and left side of face - 3.5 hour drive, Buffalo to Pittsburgh
- Face, arms and butt - Capri, Italy
- Small triangle on right thigh - Barbados
- Top of both feet - Barbados
- Jorts outline - Prospect Park
- Nape of neck - Chiang Mai, Thailand
- Shoulderblades - Koh Samui, Thailand
- Running shorts and compression socks outline, Coney Island 16 miler
- Sunburn in the shape of long necklace, West Indies Parade attendance