Thursday, May 10, 2007

a love letter to my arch nemesis, the apple store guy

dear apple store worker who openly mocks my stupidity,

i think i love you. i bask in your delightful banter. those precious little nike high tops you wear? the bowl cut that you part down the middle? i adore you. i saw you grimacing at me through the corner of your eye as you saw another apple store helper tending to my idiotic questions. i dare say you were jealous. please look past my technological ignorance and let's run away together.

xoxoxoxoxo
lola

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Girl at the Gateway Store in Monroeville, PA,

I wanted to apologize for the way I acted the other day in your store. You know that I value your advice and I'm sorry that I made you cry at work. It's just difficult for me to understand that you would recommend anything less than 1GB of RAM for my new Windows Vista PC. Honestly, how am I supposed to run all of my resource intense applications? How will I be able to Photoshop pictures of me from the beach last summer with a stolen camera photo of you that I was able to nab last week when you weren't looking?

Look. Look. It's alright and I understand. You have a job to do and you can't always help me but asking your manager to call security was a bit tacky. I really thought we made a connection when I first bought a digital camera with you. But didn't you wonder why I kept buying PC peripherals? Seriously, who needs 3 scanners/printers? I'm not running home business out of my parents basement!

Getting me banned from the store was like a Denial of Service attack on my heart.

Please return my txt msgs.

Warmest regards,
Eager PC Purchaser

lola f. said...

"denial of service attack on my heart"

oh man. hahahahaa